missed out

sometimes i do wonder, wat did i miss out during my teenage life or my young adult life. i feel as if i didnt realli done sth... i looked at some of my friend's blog... they're having so much fun... while i looked at myself... did i realli get to enjoy this most of the time? its a very good question since i'm doing some reflection ( cant slp) . thinking about my life... my future, my past and of course the current. many question flooded my mind... wat if i studied in singapore.... NTU for example... isst fun? like more fun den last time? getting to see most of my JC frens most of the time? or isst going to be like here now.

now , whenever lesson is over for the day, i'll juz head back my room... staring at my com... playing facebook or watch youtube video... is dis my life? i believe dat it shld have been better... since uni life is more freedom and stuff... freedom is dere... but there's no chance to spend it... instead i spent it on useless stuff... to kill time.

mom once told me... if she had the chance, she wouldnt let me go overseas.... there's a reason behind dat. becoz things happened pretty suddenly.. its not good to share here... i buried it in the deepest part of my heart, sworn nvr to mention at all... initially i said... its for the better future... i can still get to see my frens during year end... but things dont seem at simple as before... all the emotions start to come in now.... all the outing... bla bla bla... dating gals... not dat i cant get to date here... but i'm still new here... where can i bring my gf... sch? LOLX... joke...

sg's uni's orientation was fun ( saw grace's blog )... over here? the orientation is workshop... wow... dont even have icebreaker game... nth at all... seriously... ppl who have fren... are those fren whom they've known b4 coming over... not dat i've no fren... the group is pretty small... and the interest isnt realli similar... happened to noe a hardcore worker... ( eager to work outside )

he is on scholarship... he wants to go japan to finish his master... so he is working for the living expenses... his point of view for leisure is work... unlike me... which is like going out to a pub... enjoy my time drinking... ( not getting drunk)... bla bla bla...

wat if i start to regret now... will i get a chance to turn things back? will NTU accept me for the july batch? will dey? no... i dont think so... i didnt bother to reply the acceptance form... cause back den i decided to go monash uni.. life isnt realli good ( with a neighbour who loves ice-cream, the whole freaking lvl is filled with ants... inc my room )

i cant bring myself to tell my family i want to go back...all these mixed feelings... made me feel terrible... and den i saw the post card... from wy and grace. pictures of everyone... hey... they're all here... supporting me... although not all of em... but its good enough... i guess i shld let everything go the way it is... i guess opportunity will come... rising star... bla bla bla... having fun all those... haha...

ok logging off... time to sleep.